Monday, December 31, 2012

new year tomorrow!

I did say to a few students, "See you next year!" and I'll probably say it to Claire and Grant tonight. Can't help it. But I hope I'm asleep at midnight. It's been awhile since I've had a New Year's Eve celebration that involved purposely staying up to greet the twelve chimes. But I think I'll do it again when Claire and Grant are old enough to be really excited about staying up super late, eating shrimp cocktail and caramel corn, watching old movies and playing cards.

It's also been awhile since I've made any New Year Resolutions. I used to make birthday resolutions but quit those too. This afternoon though, I was thinking about what 2013 might bring and made a short list of hopes: healed knee, a return to running. Just that I named those first made me realize I have yet to transcend the physical. But what is right in front of you is right in front of you. Also on the short list was to continue learning how to love and be kind, especially toward those nearest me: again, what is right in front of you is right in front of you. I love Justin, Claire and Grant dearly. Dearly! But I get short with them or frustrated or expect more than they have to give.

A good friend told me I need to remember to give myself grace too. I don't want Love More and Be Kind and Speak Gently to become measures of how short I fall.

I also want to Be Present or, as my dad wrote years ago in a Bible he gave me, "Be there." Very simple and grounding.

I would like to not freak out so much in 2013. I emote. A lot. I think out loud. A lot. Or I scramble to my notebook and write too much. You know, maybe that is just how I am and I can be okay with that in 2013.

I would like to meal plan. I don't like meal planning at all.

Also on the short list is: I want to listen to God and hear what he has to say. At church a man said too many people put God in a box, limit him to their own understanding. I wouldn't mind having my limited understanding blown open to see God in a new way this year.

Yikes. And fun.

When you look at all of this together, and think of all the tangents each of these kinda sorta resolutions offer, well, it isn't a short list at all! Let me continue to grow!

1 comment:

Steve said...

Here is hoping for a good 2013.

Hope you all have a good one. :)