Monday, November 26, 2012

why i blog

I just deleted everything I wrote. Because it began with

Or: why I bother.

The thing is, I don't really know why I blog. I started blogging to share our overseas adventure with family and friends. But I also started blogging because I write a lot and most of that is stuck in a notebook or file and I want to share my writing.

This blog may not be optimal publication but it is sending my words out.

I also blog because I think through writing. I mean, I write my way through decisions and fears and understandings. And some of what I learn I share. Much of the time, I share all the middle parts of learning.

Sometimes I wish I blogged anonymously. There are things I would like to say about my faith, marriage, family, in-laws, parenting, relationships, work, time, church, politics, books - things that I would like to say but don't because a blog begun as a way to share our overseas life with friends and family is a poor place to post what fits better in my notebook or shared with groups of trusted friends.

But I don't lie here either. I just don't say everything that flies through my head.

What I've been realizing recently is that I don't have to be shy about learning my faith or figuring out parenting. Or talking about other parts of my life.

It's such a process!

Sometimes I think this blog is a place for family and friends to get to know me in a new way. What I write here, I will talk with you about. I might not say, hey, God is teaching me about hope and, wow, is my hope ever tentative. I might not open with that unless you're one of my Bible study friends. But I put here. And anything I put on this blog, I am willing to share with you in a bigger conversation some day.

When I blog, I can't see your face. That makes me think about quitting blogging because I post something important or serious and I can't see you smile or laugh or shake your head or sigh. There is a dialogue through comments but it isn't like a conversation over coffee. So in this way, blogging really is publication: I send my words out and you make of them what you will.


Steve said...

You and I are different, but who isn't? I don't write at all, except for the few minutes I jot down my stuff in the morning.

"I send my words out and you make of them what you will."

probably why I comment, so people know I was there, and so everything was taken in a good way... at least most of the time, and nothing is in vain.

Been into deleting whole updates too. Been there done that...

Billie said...

I love that you're blogging more often. :-)

I sometimes waver back and forth about blogs...good/bad. I think I was always afraid to say that I read blogs regularly because I worried people might judge me :-). But I am not afraid anymore! Look where it gets us....we got to meet you guys in Paris!