Thursday, November 29, 2012

an oasis in

Kuwait.

Last year or the year before I began thinking of my time here as an oasis.

Kuwait is difficult. Not all the time but enough of the time. I still like our life here, but Kuwait can be a difficult place for me. (Shall I qualify that statement with the next: Every place can be a difficult place to be! Really, we all know that, right?) But because Kuwait can be difficult for me, the understanding that it is also an oasis is sweet: God meets where I am and right now I am in Kuwait.

But sometimes what this time here has felt like is one thing after another. (Go ahead and qualify that by reminding me that the definition of life is one thing after another). I have been seized by worry and fear. I have hated. I have been angry. I have felt completely lost. I have wanted what I cannot have. I have ached. And God has been so faithful to meet me where I am. And I am in Kuwait.

You cannot really escape in Kuwait. You can fly out or drive out to the desert. But when I want to escape I am usually stuck in traffic and stuck in Kuwait and wanting so badly - wanting so badly to run away, drive far, find a place where I can scream or sleep or be quiet.

Sometimes I think I am here because I cannot run away. I am made to stay and made to seek and learn. Sometimes, though, the understanding that comes feels nothing like an oasis. I am there now.

2 comments:

Steve said...

I hear you.

Anonymous said...

everyone has a kuwait...