Tuesday, November 6, 2012

almost forgot!

I think one of the challenges of writing a post a day is -


It's bedtime here and Claire and Grant are in bed, both calling, "Mamaaaa!"

I was saying: I think one of the challenges of writing a post a day is keeping it interesting. Duh. You know what? I'm distracted right now. Claire is making up very loud stories about Legos and morning and holidays.

One of the things I like about skipping blogging for long chunks of time is I don't have to write what is happening in my life or mind. I want to be honest and sometimes I sit down and want to say something a little too close or a little too embarassing or a little too shameful. I keep writing notebooks for that: all the questions and working around to an answer, sorting emotions or responses, dissecting conversations. I keep writing notebooks to pull essays from my journaling or write short fiction wound with threads from me.

When you write often and a lot, the same stories come up, the same hurts, the same fears, the same hopes. Your mind circles back to whatever thing you can't let go or haven't figured out yet. So you write it again and again and after awhile you wonder if you'll ever say it right.

When I flip through some of my notebooks from the last year or so, I see a lot of mentions of bedtime. I hate bedtime and I'm tired enough now that I can't remember if I've talked about that here before. Bedtime quit being easy when Claire was two. So we've had two years of holding our breath that this bedtime is easy and sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. So I don't like it much. Good night.


Steve said...

If I kept a notebook, I would never probably ever re-read my stuff. I barely do now anyway. It is kinda like keeping a log of my runs. Not once did I ever go back to look at anything.

You know where it is just killing you to know how your ran on Dec 20th, 2007. Distance, time, and pace. Never has a thought like that ever crept into my mind. :)

jsmarslender said...

Rest assured, Steve, I flip fast : ) I have a few notebooks flagged with fiction or poetry starts, but most of the journaling stays put until it becomes a short essay...