Sunday, September 9, 2012

staying put & starting school

Claire told one of her friends that we were moving to another country and that she would have to make new friends in her new country. When she wakes up from her nap, we'll go talk to that friend and explain: we aren't going anywhere.

I think she hears us talk about people who have moved or we talk with her about where her old friends live now and look on the map: there's Canada and Washington and Oregon and Suadi Arabia and India and Qatar. She hears the talk about moving and living in a new country and she hears me tell her that her old friends are making new friends and perhaps she wants a part of that.

Justin and me too. Sometimes we want a part of that. We're content in Kuwait but the other night we spent an hour looking at schools in South America. We aren't moving this year, but we think about it. We aren't sure when it will feel right and we're both waiting for it to feel right, to know that moving would be good for us. Right now, staying in Kuwait is good for us.

We've all started school. This is a big year in our home. Claire began kindergarten and Grant attends a Montessori preschool two mornings a week. I am waiting a few weeks to see how this really works. Right now, Claire is tired in the afternoons and doesn't like the school clothes because you can't wear a pink tutu with the required blue and white uniforms. I've heard her say in a loud voice, "Good morning, boys and girls" and am waiting for her to learn her classmates' names so I can get a greater glimpse into her days. Today was Grant's second day at his preschool and despite talking it up all weekend, he was not happy when we arrived. I stayed with him for awhile but he cried when I left. I picked him up early and he was glad to see me.

Sometimes I think: how am I supposed to feel about this? I can't really decide. Change is big and difficult and I think we all get to wait a few weeks to see what school is like for Claire and what preschool is like for Grant.

This is one of many parts of my kids' lives that I will know only in part. A teacher here told me that is a kind of grief, to realize that. And when Claire started kindergarten this year, Justin and I talked about this and how her mornings away meant that our time together as a family was that much more valuable. Not in an overstructured way, but just to remember: Enjoy Each Other.

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