Tuesday, October 19, 2010

homesick

First, let me tell you I will be more bloggy. At least one post a week. I think I can manage that. Now: homesick.

My friend is heading home for a month, very soon. The other night we were talking with her and her husband about the break they'd get from Kuwait. She is planning to go for nice, long, slow runs. Outside. In beautiful country. Run one for me, I think.

And this morning on the treadmill, I thought about Wisconsin running and my favorite routes - some of which I may never run again, but still replay, still miss.

Sometimes I think about moving back to the States, but like my friend and her husband - and many of our friends abroad - we still aren't ready. The odd thing is that when I think of returning to the States, when I feel homesick for the States, I am missing something different from what I left behind.

I don't want to return to where we lived before. We joke about how much we like our college town, except that it's also Justin's hometown and we don't want to live next door to parents. (Now, watch that happen in ten years). Instead, I idealize places I've driven through or read about, states my abroad friends are from. When my brother was in college, Justin and I visited him in Minneapolis and those few weekend trips are the entire basis of my thinking that the Cities would be a great place to live. A book of gorgeous pictures showing Maine through her seasons - a book I picked up at the library maybe ten years ago - still has me thinking coastal Maine would be the perfect spot to live. Mountainous Colorado or drizzly Portland sound nice. An  international school in Boston told us to keep them in mind when we were ready to return to the States: we'd be broke, but living in Cambridge. And I once drafted a letter to the Canton, New York school district to inquire about teaching jobs for Justin and me because I saw enough of the town on a long, rainy morning run while on our honeymoon, heading for Canada - I saw enough of the town to think we could live there, happily. Maybe we will yet.

The thing is, I can close my eyes and picture myself in too many places for one life.

4 comments:

Kelly G. said...

I wonder often if it is common for people to want to live, or at the very least, wonder what it is like to live elsewhere? I respect what you can Justin have done, in living abroad. My daydreams involve a small farmette, with a cobblestone house (this has been expertly renovated... by someone else) and a pond or a stream. I can picture myself living there... My husband cannot ;) I like to think that all of those longings for another, better, different place to live will be fulfilled in Heaven, afterall He has gone to prepare a place for us! Hugs from Wisconsin...

Angela and David said...

I often want to live all over as well and I've never even lived abroad. But we might be moving to Minneapolis in a few months so I'll let you know if it's as great as you remember it being.

Anonymous said...

I want to live on a farm... in the mountains... at the beach. Mom

Billie said...

See, this is where the rich people of the world have it made :-). They have houses in all of these exact locations so they can always enjoy what they're feeling at the moment ;-). I totally get where you're coming from, though. I'm ready to settle down, and by settle down, I mean stop moving every two years. As excited as I am to be moving to Paris, I'd love to have a house to just know is mine for more than 2 years. But when we think about settling down we can't make that big decision: WHERE!! So we just continue the nomadic lifestyle for a while and see where we end up. I'm really hoping that we end up going to the Cities next (from Minnesota) so we can at least check that one off and see if we really want to settle there.

At least you're still enjoying the nomadic lifestyle, though!!