Wednesday, November 19, 2008

afternoon nap

Claire is sleeping. I am not. Before she arrived, moms told me to rest when the baby rests. Take naps. Leave the dishes (for the maid). At the beginning I was blinded by exhaustion and would lay flat on my back in the hot afternoon, listening to Claire snort and gag her way through a nap. My eyelids glued shut but my mind still on high alert. Now, while I don't nap much, I pass out at night. Klunk. Out. Last night, to ward off a breast infection I was up every three hours to feed or pump. Justin set the alarm. I never heard the alarm go off. Justin told me to get up. My sleep at night is dead - until I hear Claire wake. She's my alarm clock.

I had this idea that maternity leave would stretch out as an opportunity to read and write and prepare for second semester. I have a drawer full of Moleskine notebooks that haven't been touched. I covered maybe thirty pages in two and a half months. But our days are balancing now. There's a sort of schedule. I think I might finish a notebook before Christmas. And I'm finding time to get schoolwork done too. Just modifying what has worked before. Making it better. I hope.

Last week I realized that if we lived in the States I'd be back at work already. That was startling. Claire is only just starting to sleep five or six hours a stretch in the night. I don't think I'd be high functioning at school. My students would love me. No homework again, Mrs.? Because you're too beat to grade sixty essays? We'd be eating frozen pizzas and potato chips for dinner. Or, rather empanadas and yucca sticks. I have a little less than two months before I'm back in the classroom. Enough time to find a firmer routine. That's what I say now.

But that's two months away. I have that time to enjoy a few more afternoon naps.

1 comment:

Joie said...

Ahhh, this is wonderfully refreshing to read your thoughts and commentary about your life these days. Thanks for writing. I've read all that you've posted until now and thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep writing and posting pictures of my sweet niece!! Miss you.